Scattered thoughts

It's sunset and our laughter has died down. 

The waves are hardly there and the shore is damp and deserted. 

We now bathe and bask

Find new form and build foundations for our awkward silences. 

The lack of things to say, shrill and piercing.

A war of words, without raised voices.  

She asks, do you think of me?

Yes. Probably all the time and never. 

Do you build castles from the dirt our love became? 

Try to scribble little notes and say they are for me

Convince yourself it's all my influence, unwanted and unwarranted. 

My anger, seething beneath the surface because you will not let me out. 

When did I become your prisoner? 

And not you mine? 

It's getting cold out here but she doesn't want to go back inside 

I've probably had her hidden too long... 

Locked in dark chambers, basements and the occasional casket. 

So I have to resign to my discomfort for her comfort. 

With us it's love then hate

Mostly love and mostly hate. 

Did I think of her? 

Maybe all the time and never... 

Her memory dragged me down like a sinking anchor 

Yet lay lightly on my shoulders like snowflakes and feathers.

Tore me down, yet soothed me. 

Now it's just me and her as the darkness creeps in

As it squeezes between us where the sun rays were. 

As the cold intensifies and the tide is home to roost 

Just me and her... 

All the time and never.