dreams of grandeur

I've had dreams of grandeur
Grand castles built on shifting sand
Promises of kingdoms at my feet
And instead my heart at yours.
I've had vivid dreams of arch's and spaces
Great hallways and halls lined with the things I desire
Instead,you,dear world saw it fit to to give me picture less frames
To give me empty bowls to fill me up
A tea cup of water to cleanse my soiled conscience.
I had dreams of grandeur...
Solid,rich ,delicious visions of what I thought I knew I wanted
Of what I knew I thought I needed
Now they sit at the bottom of this murky pool
Glorious and glowing,
Inviting me in with no way to reach them.
Nothing to bait them but what I thought I had known I wanted.

lost and found

I ran circles round a place I called home
Built bridges and laid foundations.
I ran circles round sandy dunes and lost my way...
The wind too strong,
My steps too light.
I sought broken pieces of time
Of sanity.
I sought love
I sought light
I found instead scattered pieces of my peace of mind.
I found instead renewed strength...
I found instead stability and devotion.
..I left my heart on the shifting dunes,
Imprinted and raw on the wet shores.
No longer longing to be loved
No longer needing to belong.
I left my heart beating on the shifting dunes
And carried the waves and sunlight home instead.

home sweet home

Cover me up
Carry me home.
Show me the road as it lay
The bits of gravel as they were
And the dust that is now.
Colour me up
Carry me home.
Are the buildings just as they were?
Colour and grace and madness
And strength and gusto
Enveloped in magic,all from afar
Or has the glow ceased to be
No more pixie dust
No more chiseled strong stone...
Build me up
Please carry me home.
To the softness and safety of the rugged corners
To the warmth of my cold floor
To the dampness and suffocating happiness of the love around me
Cover me up
And carry me home

the worst in words

Give it to me.
Lay your words on me
Let me feast on your kind and unkind
Devour,divide and conquer...
Hand your lies to me
Silver platter,your best China
Dash of malice,slice of happy then sad.
Count me in
Let's dish on your pools of colourful tales
Dirty,murky,muddy waters in which your truths swim
Your words feed me
Fill me up
Tear me up
Build me down
Make any sense?
Let me feast on your kind and unkind
Lay your words on me.

my kind of kind.

Pain is kind.
Kind,kind,kind...
Selfless in it's giving and inflicting and emotional disarmament
In it's Silent creeping in and out of chambers of the heart,tear ducts,fists and fake smiles.
So loyal it wouldnt let you go if you begged
Wouldn't dessert you if you ran.
Stuck to you
White and rice.
In awe with the ways in which pain keeps me warm
Pain draws me to the flame
The lonely moth in me.
Till my wing tips zing in the blue,the red and the yellow
And my body feels too heavy to carry around.
Lugging,panting, dragging myself to the open arms of my kind oppressor
Pain is seasonal in it's affliction but loves you enough to be permanent in its dents...
In it's bruises and mutilation
In it's ever present impulses.
In it's smile and its laughter
In its pieceing of your heart the absolute wrong way,
In it's freedom and its valour
In it's sacrifice today for an even bigger loss tomorrow.
In love with the math around it.
The ones and two's that total up to nothing.
The total chemistry behind this emotion
Pain is kind.
Kind,kind,kind.

Mental babbling

Journeys are meant  to be shared, right?
Savored and adored
Worked for and towards...
But this is a long one
And you are lagging behind
I'm not half sure  we speak the same language either.
I don't seek assurance
No yes' to my maybes...
I seek truths and confirmations.
I mean can we dance all night
And go at it all day
Can we love life and thrive through the complexities of this journey
It's simple for me
No arithmetic, no extra adjectives
Just madness and life
And love oozing out of every pore!
Sunlight
Sunshine
And lots of yes', no maybes
I want to live.
Chasing the unexpected
Crossing antique bridges that survived fires
 Friendships and fleeting moments
The soft grass under our hands and feet
Live. Love.
Assurity in all my confusion
Plenty of yes'
No maybes.

Separation anxiety

I'm lying, can you tell?
That these winding roads
Trees and rivers between
That the hills don't mean
We are further away
From each others beating hearts
That our lives don't depend solely on each other
And our paths haven't completely been covered up by the grass
Non existent bonds.
You're there
And I'm here
Intergalactic distances
I don't care if you go
Walk away...
Wait! please don't skip town...

I'm lying, can you tell?